Tuesday, June 1, 2021

My phenomenal life


 The variety known as miserable

Care about themselves think about their own troubles

Seen from their perspective

A little bit of hype can be effective

But what is their objective?



The miserable variety is not half so happy in heaven

Went envying me

Jealous of independence and confidence

"You die right now' for nobody cares for thee

Yes, I did see, yet didn't you see,

I felt it's so cruel

Asking death from one who can only eat gruel


My conscious clairvoyance and precognition

Could tell before the wedlock, the union

She wants it to be her dominion


It was sometime back

I never shared those details

I hid some dirty tales

When she asked me

Grinning with moving  eyes backward, forwards round

She placidly said,

"Every penny he earns

On you, he burns"


From childhood, I have not been as others were

I never enjoyed hop-skip-jump that's for sure,

Being sick girl lookin' for the doctor's cure

In my adolescence couldn't satisfy my

Desire to fly

Interests hobbies passions weird desires

Do you ever wonder just what God requires?

Given just one life to face things where everyone conspires

Put me in a life of big mess

As I grew up amidst bawling and screaming

Without any play-fellow thinking

Terribly lonely I am need some solicitude against the deluge of solitude

Paternal solicitude was quite indefatigable

Father wasn't tough and able

With faith heart' blockage

Gasping for air

With whole world's a-watchin'

Peeking out and stare

His efforts nobody in the world could compare

Gave her daughter a new lease of life

When the commander, solver of every problem died

And passed away

He deserved a blast away


Mum never got tired of life

Took charge of my strife

Running to every apothecary

Without repository

Never weary

Doing rounds

Collected funds


You are the only one I admire

Our time together with my super Mum

My soul feels on fire

You are my lodestar taught me how to overcome



With a heart of a sponge sucking up pain, emotions, and feelings 

Being mermaid Princess

From childhood hour


Life is not a fetid melodrama

My mind never knew trauma

No dour infliction


A joust with a flick of an upped moment


Memento mori


Be wary



Like a real Princess

I  became a Warrior Princess

Without tears suffering

I suffered, suffered acutely

Without fear bore senseless, pointless suffering mutely


From every depth of good and ill

The mystery binds me still


There's a sort of worm

The most hopeful life they deform

Gnawing holes throughout them

Their vileness as through ev'ry moment they go

It merits naught they know

 

From the thunder and the storm

The cloud that took from


Acting like a goddess 

Disguised and loving wise

To the brainless spouse

My spark inside tried to douse

Spark became a flame

Because I have just one life

Faced abandonment, desertion continual  pain


My sources of survival were taken

Sorrow, grief never awaken

In loneliness poverty solitude

When darkness intrude

My mantra made hope everyday renewed


Hope didn't naively deny my problem

Truth becomes beautiful and terrible

I have just been whacked by the sturdy bloodsucker ghoul

When the  imp came out chilling and killing me

It was far from love

God saw from heaven above

It was demon of the soul

" I'm afraid death takes its toll

You have no control.

My death won't save my bruvver

The wife is not much of a liver

Trying to make my body moan

Adding extra ailment 

Was your enthralment

Of impalement


God's laughing in Heaven

To see my responses so good;

The Sailing Seven sage and saint

Saw the efforts to uproot

A presumed bad tooth

 With off-beat ailment

The attempted impalement

With sparing wit no learning 

If you want to know why

She wanted me to die

The best reasons I'll supply

It's not the same bruvver defending

" She's anxious of my health"

Otherwise, a healthy man pretending

Justified bringing my ending


My  ‘coochie coochie coo’  bruvver is lost

His soul was so betossed

Transmuted as the bridge he crossed

Can only count the cost;

Against the conflagration of my life, it was our childhood journey very own "Chotobela"

It was our very own game " khela"

We ventured too far into the game of life abandoned by all

Never shuddering drinking the silence of aloneness


Childhood journey to adolescence


Which often seemed a total nonsense

He who could see ghosts in books of Stephen King he read them very zesty


Saw wisps of fog as it turned dark and misty




Was filled with tears, fear, and grief


When some shape glanced at him through the mirror brief


Hid the book behind a flower pot on the rooftop terrace


Mum found it and brought it back to the shelf with grace


At night we heard him banging his teeth with disbelief


He beheld shapes and heard creaks in his dream groaning in earnest


We laughed in jest






In his  serious determination like a mighty hero flailing his arms implying muddled brain assures 


In my precarious situation


" I am always there"


But now he's nowhere near

Says  can't keep his promise to Father

Who was less and less unwilling

To expend his saving

For studies for cinematography

His passions for photography


Mum convinced him 

To let him study lights low and dim

He will  earn care and not let hard times come again


Now he enjoys life's pleasures as Mum count its many tears

While we all sorrow with the poor.

As he says can't keep his promise to Father anymore

Will look after in next life

After marrying his wife

Refused to be a part of our strife.


Uses foul and filthy words

He has broken all ties and cords



Hope relentlessly believing in the existence

Not a trivial death

Will not leave me gasping bring back my breath


Deal with the soul of evil

Aye, banish devil's from my life

Teach them how to deal with aling one

 Be a righteous son

Not just be "sorry"

Because things can't be undone.


Being a beast and vermin

That to think of sets us squirmin',

 Stung piercing my flesh 

Spraying droplets was allowed

In pandemic three is a crowd


Life is too short you learn more

Relationship is not strong enough

I do believe I've had enough

No need to bear the rough


 No need for approval to enjoy the sun

From those who carry a gun








No comments:

Post a Comment