Thursday, December 31, 2020

I choose to gallop not trot

 



Life is a constant journey, 

Honed by dedication,

 Landscape changes, needs, and situation,

 Life is a train, not the station,

The dazzling thrill is: nothing happens without reason,

 Action yields equal reaction, 

Life is for daring, moving onward, 

Existence is Persistence, 

Not gravitating into a black hole of optimistic pessimism,

 Memento moriđź’€: is wisdom and propulsion, 

Navigating the expansive sea in a leaky boat,

 Tough decision, 

While we live without submission, 

Boldness, ignoring fears,

Guts to stand up for others, 

Focusing on now,

 Commitment, action, 

Consequences and reaction, 

Good deeds are done with the intention

Not for attention

Not for reputation

If you help people people

Good deeds are always weighed against evil

It is like a game of a boomerang and comes back as retrieval





If you could do good things for other people you have a moral obligation to do those things. That is called responsibility. You don't have any choice here.


If you never abandon those in deep trouble and lend your hand and how you make them feel tells a lot about you. 


 Who am I? A mere nobody? Nobody has named me… I have named myself, I have named myself as 'Warrior Princess' because I have chosen to fight and not sigh and not cry.



As you learn to control life rather mind, it becomes joyful. We all know charity begins at home.


These days people understand only their troubles and see their perspectives. Soft-brained, weak-minded, chicken-hearted people get the best attention whereas a warrior is like an elephant in the room like something everyone is aware of, but which is being ignored because everybody finds discussion about it uncomfortable.


Everywhere there's some chaos and uproar but everyone is leading a filthy life never cleaning up the dust settling in layers.  With a few dead trees surrounding their lives, every single person seems to be the mirror image of the other, living in a mixture of the garbage but calling themselves aficionados of life. I ask you, My Lord, what do they perceive life is? I think for them life and lust are synonymous. Everyone has a similar hobby, that of collecting money.



What do I need? Money? To fight through the hazards of life you need money. When malady strikes, your life becomes a tale of courage in the face of endless circumstances and the distressing horror, banknotes resuscitate you. Therefore money can buy life for me.


The atrocities which happen on the planet are due to stupidity.

Refusal to assume one's role as a responsible member of the human race and misorientation that disturbs matters of equilibrium.

Changes at times have happened without approval. Sometimes someone is needed to lean on when times get rough, someone who would make sure everyone is safe from harm. Responsibility, dependability, integrity is needed.


God does not need your assistance and care, your neighbour does. When you see your neighbour struggling, without even asking to go out and help. Even if your neighbors don't speak because of the social anxiety or that of the pandemic, help doesn't have to be big or flashy, being good and the power of kindness is meaningful and powerful.


We are disoriented into inactivity, you know.

 Restful in ignorance, 

The bold step to welcome change, 

Choreographs a dance of awareness,

 Adhere to conformity

 Makes you an architect of self-decay and you rot,

 I choose to gallop not trot

Where ignorance is the master

 They hand over a prescription of disaster,

 Hold back others, 

who try to learn


Racking brains atop the shoulder;

 Without fogged conscience; 

Acquiring knowledge, never abandoning Science;

 So-called society belittled my action,

 Experienced painful reaction; 

Disappointments, haplessness; 

Nevertheless, forged ahead with vigor; In excruciating torment, malady; 

In a fogey world of a scourge,


Ignorance and stupidity may therefore be called criminal.

Only in the black muck of ignorance can the irrational conflicts 

of ideologies germinate. 


Ignorance, novice attitude toward existing knowledge, a refusal to assume one's role as a responsible member of the human race may be punished in the searing thunder lap of the Maker.

It is time for growing up, have a functional mind. For there can be but weeping in the night where there is ignorance.

Brighter and more competent they are still held down by ignorance of life. Otherwise rise in their intelligence, behavior, and competence.

Once you skim through again and find another fact. One should continue to do this until he feels some friendliness to the subject.





“Ignoring isn't ignorance,

 Ignorance requires guts, boldness 

Nonsensical crummy customs - the maintenance, 

Gloat knowledge and wisdom 

Homo sapiens who want to know,

 Grow with insight meet misfortune 

Prancing dancing scatty alec 

Sham fetters with a Wham! 

Desperate aloneness 

Smitten by caddish 

Mingy ignorant


The prudent with strange precision,

 Chalking out the plan, 

Work out a victory over adversity, 

Plausibility is a reality

 Long lament of the discreet

 The parallel lines shall never meet.”


Monday, December 28, 2020

Face life as no other with great quality offered as choices .

 


The Gambler 


O Mind! O, Soul!

 The irony of the struggle, 

Strange fatigue, 

The emotional strain,

 Tantalize and torment,

 The twopenny-halfpenny existence.

 Weary mind grunts and groans, 

Everything feels bitterly cold,

 Engulfed in Gloom of doom. 


The human scum, 

The rotting heart,

 Hypocrisy and cruelty, 

Cowardice and defiance,

 Immensely solitary existence, 

The repulsive individual 

Feels a growing desire for gamely death. 


The gambler cries in the sodden life, 

Everything is mistrustful, scheming, and Vile. 

Struck by forlornness, hazed in the maze, 

Close to the edge on a tight-rope

 Viewing the hodge-podge of despicable mess,

 Gleamy eyes ablaze

 Losing everything at showdown,

Reaching the  fag-end

 Unafraid, unfazed takes chance, 

Life is not a choice, rooted in chance,

Doesn't rue till the end game.



What a thrill life is, only a gambler can get it. I wrote this at the time of one of my deadly surgeries when crowd-funding wasn't going fast but time was running out.


I expect nothing but still, there are times when there is a wild disappointment as in life's game as I walk with my head erect, never stooping and honoring my self-respect.

I'm not a weakling, my heart doesn't understand fear. My only aspiration as a warrior is to climb higher.


I don't have a twopenny-halfpenny existence. I began my travel threatened with a dangerous malady in the middle of my parent's grief because of deception and family betrayal. I was aware I might meet both victory and defeat but after the glad tidings came my father realized that there exists another realm and perished miserably.


The cold, distant insensitive people turned my optimism into a fitness rage in my misery. The cold silence and the cold light of reason rattled in the cold empty world of my brain into a terrible depression.


People with small brains with shallowness, cowardice, and hypocrisy made life and death vague and hazy.


Soul realized that it had traveled in its privacy and seclusion and how this amazing past journey can help the present and future.

"And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die and death shall flee from them"-Revelation 9:6. But we don't realize we have been granted life and our life there is some purpose behind getting human life.


God doesn't play dice but tests our tenacity and the test of time.


 You won’t believe that I waited so long to pass the fascinating test because it was honest strife. But I think parts of the test are remaining.


In the bleak and windy days, ebb and tide I acquired scars, became half-blind with a fearless mind.


With the fondest hope shucking despair, faced life as no other greatest quality choice was offered.


My pain


I don't weep

Sometimes I can't sleep

I get pain in the wind that blow

On cold nights when the stars glow

When the sun awaken

When there is rain

I don't cry

Because I won't easily die

I am half-blind

But thankful to those who are kind

Appreciate all little things and the love I got

My life means a lot



I pray, Lord let there be

Your children who follow thee

No black, no white, no brown

Shirk duties and responsibility

They come faltering down

Because the road to life is uphill

Qualities of affection, compassion, and mutual respect

Makes us human beings with skill

To survive and thrive to elevate the soul

Needless to mention think of everyone's well-being is the goal



Sunday, December 27, 2020

Resolution of life



Resolution of life



  The year stopped dead on its trail

All goodness has turned its face

In the sinful world purity travails 

I feel regrets are too heavy to carry

Not to be discouraged I let them bury

I'm strong enough to move on

Walking alone yet the journey is long

I have strength and confidence

With cognizance, not somnolence

Amidst the displays of heinous viciousness

My mind skips and hops 

 Limping with satisfaction and delight

In my mum's might

Not holding on to feelings and emotions

Broadcasting them to the world

Is a smart experiment 

To identify certain people may be an option, not a requirement

The journey of life may be long and winding

But I am as strong as an ox never known fear

Which I will travel till the culmination without a tear

I won't stop chasing my dreams and aspirations 

 No matter how hard it gets but with full satiation

In the vast world, it's shameful to waste my wonderful life

 Mulling over what-ifs and could-have-been. 

A self-indulgent life is not an invaluable real life

Despite adversities, if I can ever bring a smile to a needy child's face

Notwithstanding my struggles with my chronic illness and pain 

My life will be a sure win.

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Believe it or not, Santa Claus lives with me 24x7

                                                  Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

'Round yon virgin Mother and Child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!

Shepherds quake at the sight!

Glories stream from heaven afar;

Heavenly hosts sing Al-le-lu-ia!

Christ the Savior is born!

Christ the Savior is born!

Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night, holy night

Son of God, oh, love's pure light

Radiant beams from Thy holy face

With the dawn of redeeming grace

Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

Jesus, Lord at Thy birth



Christ was God in human flesh. He was both God and man. He was fully God from all eternity, and he became fully man when he was born to Mary in Bethlehem.


Pontius Pilate the king of the Jews, parlez vous (2)

Pontius Pilate the king of the Jews

Went and bought a pair of shoes

Inky pinky parlez vous


When the shoes began to tear parlez vous (2)

When the shoes began to tear

Pontius Pilate bought a mare

Inky pinky parlez vous


When the mare began to kick parlez vous (2)

When the mare began to kick

Pontius Pilate bought a stick

Inky pinky parlez vous


When the stick began to break parlez vous (2)

When the stick began to break

Pontius Pilate bought a snake

Inky pinky parlez vous


When the snake began to sting parlez vous (2)

When the snake began to sting

Pontius Pilate bought a ring

Inky pinky parlez vous


Jesus Christ was a Jewish teacher;  many people believed that he performed healings and exorcisms;  he was rejected by the Jewish leaders;  he was crucified under Pontius Pilate in the reign of Tiberius.


Both the Roman and Jewish authorities had various concerns about Christ’s remaining at large. There were six serious accusations. But these charges were not the real reason for the hatred of the Jewish leaders for Jesus or their prosecution of the case against him before Pilate. The real accusation is that he had claimed to be the unique Son of God, which they judged blasphemy.


After his betrayal and arrest, Jesus went through six distinct trial cross-examinations before facing crucifixion.


There were three Jewish trials and three Roman trials. Roman governor Pontius Pilate was in one of them.

While the Jews were concerned with the religious implications of 

Jesus’ actions, the Romans were far more concerned with politics, economics, and the authority of Rome.


The leaders of the Jewish people were thus able to present Jesus to Pilate as a mutinous trouble-maker.


Jesus was thus condemned to be crucified and had to carry his own crossbar—the horizontal beam of the cross called the patibulum—from prison to the place of his execution.



Jesus Christ traveled Via Dolorosa ----a route through the Old City of Jerusalem that is believed to be the path Jesus walked to his crucifixion Golgotha where he was crucified.


The Brutality of Crucifixion can't be imagined.

The Jews were well aware that Jesus had predicted his own resurrection.


When Christ was on the cross, it seemed that all had been lost. Death had won.


But Christ was a Messiah and his resurrection is a promise that death is not the end.

In the morning a significant event happened, changing the course of history which was so dramatic that eleven men's lives changed because of Christ's vacant tomb.


I have never seen health or happiness, just pain, and suffering but the pain, tragedy, and death that wreaked havoc upon my life were not present in God’s original creation. 


The beauty we see in nature, the joy we experience in my loving relationship with mum, the satisfaction and the feeling and the pleasure we experience in so many ways are clues that hint at what the world was like when God first made it. Few relationships were contaminated by pride, lust, greed, or jealousy.


Santa Claus, the legendary figure is supposed to be Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas bringing you gifts.


One night when I was a kid and awoke to pee, I saw my lovely parents wrapping gifts and putting them under my pillow.


My father took me to Bandel Church and prayed for my health. After my liver transplant, he took me to the Church beyond Rashtrapati Bhawan and prayed for my health.



But now he is in a glorious, pain-free, death-free land protecting me from there.


Mum is my Santa giving whatever I desire.


"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"


You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town


He's making a list

He's checking it twice;

He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice

Santa Claus is coming to town


He sees you when you're sleeping

And he knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!


You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

Cause Santa Claus is coming to town


He sees you when you're sleeping

And he knows when you're awake

And he knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!


You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town


You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming

I mean a big fat man with a long white beard

He's coming to town


My Santa Claus is always with me and today she is planning to give a valuable gift tonight...something… her invaluable love and affection. She plans to put it inside me ❤️.



Saturday, December 19, 2020

Leptomeningeal hemangioblastoma Part-2





Supratentorial hemangioblastomas (HBLs) are rare, benign vascular tumors of the central nervous system neoplasms. 


Very scarce literature is available regarding supratentorial HBL without von Hippel–Lindau (VHL) syndrome in an adult. 


Being a rare entity, not much clinical data is currently available regarding supratentorial HBLs, thus necessitating the need for further reporting and review of such cases.




  • A 40-year-old male patient presented with a headache, weakness of left side body for the past 6 months, and seizure since 2 months. 

There was no history of any inherited disease or cancer in his family. He was well orientated to time, place, and person. 

Abnormal physical signs were limited to the CNS. Neurological 

examination revealed decreased the power of 4a/5 in both left 

upper and lower limb with no sensory involvement. The tendon 

reflexes were normal and plantar responses flexor.



  • A 55-year-old woman presented with severe headache and 


dizziness in 2010 showing a large cerebellomedullary well 


enhancing tumor and a small homogenously well enhancing 


tumor at the left medial temporal base on MRI . 


She underwent a surgical resection for the large cerebellar 


mass and the pathological diagnosis was HB. She had 


no family history of VHL disease, and the evaluation for VHL 


disease was negative. Because the radiological features of the 


left temporal lobe tumor were compatible with meningioma, 


we initially thought that the patient had a sporadic form of 


HB. Postoperative course was uneventful but one month after surgery, she complained of neck pain and was investigated with 


spine MRI. The spine MRI showed multiple enhancing nodules 


in the cervico-thoracic spine and the patient was 


included in the criteria for the diagnosis of VHL disease. 


Although her neck pain was relieved soon after the spine MRI, 


we advised her regular follow-up for the left temporal tumor 


and the intraspinal tumors. Unfortunately, she had been lost 


to follow-up until December 2014, when she complained 


diplopia, left facial hypoesthesia and truncal ataxia. On the 


brain and spine MRI, multiple enhancing tumors were observed 


in the bilateral cerebellopontine angle, prepontine cistern exten 


ding to the suprasellar cistern, left parasellar area, and the 


leptomeninges around the whole spine. She under-


went surgical resection for the markedly enlarged left medial 


temporal tumor.


  • Only two dura-based3,5 and two leptomeningeal hemangioblastomas have been documented. The authors describe a 10-year-old girl


who presented with warm sensation in her face, blurred bilateral


vision, loss of consciousness, and loss of sphinter control. Medical


and family histories were unremarkable, neurological deficits were


absent, and laboratory findings were normal. 




Supratentorial HBLs, which are quite rare,were first 


described by Bielschowsky in 1902.They are most commonly 


found in the frontal lobe of the cerebrum followed by parietal 


and temporal lobe. There is a handful of reported cases of 


congenital HBLs.




Till date, approximately 139 cases of supratentorial HBLs have been 


described in the literature.




Gamma Knife radiosurgery (GKRS), 15% tumors were stable 


in volume, 54% decreased, and 31% increased. Local tumor 


control rates at 1, 5, and 10 years was 89%, 74%, and 50%, 


respectively. There was a trend toward tumor progression in 


sporadic patients (P = 0.10), women (P = 0.09), and larger 


tumors(P = 0.10). In patients with multiple HBLs as compared 


to those with only a solitary HBL, the radiosurgically treated 


lesion was 7.9 times more likely to progress after GKRS 


treatment (P = 0.018). They concluded that stereotactic 


radiosurgery offers a reasonable rate of tumor control and 


preservation of neurologic function in patients with HBLs, but 


patients with multiple HBLs are less likely to exhibit long-term 


tumor control of treated lesions following radiosurgery.




However, which treatment modality is most definitive in 


supratentorial HBL is not yet known because of the rarity of 


this tumor and available literature. MRI is recommended as 


regular follow-up for sporadic supratentorial HBL. Complete 


resection of hemangioblastoma is curative and is associated 


with minimum morbidity and 2% mortality.



On reviewing the literature, it was found that 


supratentorial HBL affected patients ranging from 3 months 


to 80 years with maximum cases belonging to 20–30 years 


and 40–50 years age group. Among the infants, only one 


case was found, thus making it a rare tumor in infancy. Most 


of the cases were found in males. The reported cases either 


presented as isolated or multiple lesions. On analyzing the 


tumor consistency, it was found most of them were solid whereas 


only less than one-third were cystic. In this review, we found 


supratentorial HBL in various locations viz., frontal, parietal, 


temporal, occipital, third ventricle, lateral ventricle, pituitary, 


pituitary stalk, suprasellar, hippocampus, falx cerebri, corpus 


callosum, meninges, and choroidal fissure.





The current available treatment did not have a significant 


effect on the progression of the hemangioblastomatosis in 


reported cases. Conventional radiotherapy or stereotactic radio-


surgery was often used for disseminated lesions, however,long-term tumor control was not achieved and it is difficult to perform high-dose radiation therapy or radiosurgery for numerous lesions scattered throughout the entire neuraxis. Some studies reported notable achievements in the treatment of hemangioblastomatosis using growth factors antagonist or blocker, such as sunitinib or erlotinib, but long term disease control was not achieved. We used several cycles of bevacizumab and the patient’s neurological condition improved significantly. Long term follow-up was not established and further 

investigation is needed.







In HBLs, first and second peaks of incidence are in the third 


and fifth decades of life respectively. HBLs are more common 


in males than in females (1.3:1 ratio). They may be either 


asymptomatic or symptomatic.


Clinical characteristics of supratentorial HBL are specific to 


their location and growth patterns. They are benign lesions 


thus sign, and symptoms manifest late.Patients usually have 


no history or the long history of minor neurological symptoms. 


In maximum cases, it presents as sudden onset of neurological 


symptoms demanding neurosurgical intervention.




The exact mechanism of hemangioblastomatosis is unknown. 

There are fourteen published cases on hemangioblastomatosis 

and 11 cases had no relationship with VHL disease. The disse-

mination of HB in all reported cases occurred after surgical 

resection. Accordingly, the spillage and spread of tumor cells 

through the cerebrospinal fluid(CSF) space are the mainstreams 

that explain the dissemination of HB4)




Intracranial hemangioblastomas are rarely located in the supratentorial region, such as the pituitary

stalk and anterior lobe of the pituitary gland,

hypothalamus, corpus callosum, wall of the third

ventricle, temporal horn of the lateral ventricle, and

meninges.3,6) Multiple hemangioblastomas are rarer

in supratentorial (3%) than in infratentorial regions

(11%).7) Previous cases include a case of supraten-

torial multiple hemangioblastomas, two dural cases

identified by MR imaging, and three cases identified

at operation.The origin of hemangioblastomas is uncertain, but the presence of endothelial cells, pericytes, and stromal cells with hypervascular structures is thought to indicate derivation

from the dural vascular structures as in our case.

Dural involvement can be seen in posterior fossa

hemangioblastomas, especially in recurrent cases.

Supratentorial hemangioblastomas usually become symptomatic in the third and fourth decades of life with male predominance. Supratentorial hemangioblastomas generally manifest as symptoms

of intracranial hypertension, epilepsy, especially in meningeal localizations, hemiparesis, hydrocephalus, and intracerebral and subarachnoid hemorrhage.


The outcomes after dissemination were very poor and most patients died within 3 years of diagnosis. The most common cause of death was respiratory failure due to pontomedullary or cervical cord compression.




If tumor cells dislodge from the primary site in the fourth ventricle, the majority of them will descend along the CSF flow to the spinal subarachnoid space and then ascend to the supratentorial subarachnoid space.




Hemangioblastomas have been reported at various locations in the central nervous system. Supratentorial


hemangioblastomas are extremely rare. Between 1902 and


2013, approximately 132 cases of supratentorial hemangioblastomas were reported. Approximately seven cases of


isolated dural-based tumors were reported before


2007.


Ref:






Supratentorial haemangioblastoma without von 


             Hippel–Lindau syndrome in an adult: A rare tumor 


            with review of literature


            Sharad Pandey, Vivek Sharma, Deepa Pandey, Vikul Kumar,            Mohan Kumar2


Departments of Neurosurgery and 2


Pathology, Sir Sunderlal Hospital, IMS, BHU, 1


Department of Clinical Microbiology, Central 


Hospital, DLW, Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India




A Very Aggressive Hemangioblastomatosis Without VHL Gene Mutation


Jeong Goo Park, Sang Woo Song, Young-Cho Koh


Department of Neurosurgery, Konkuk University College of Medicine, Seoul, Korea


Hemangioblastoma of the central nervous system may arise as sporadic lesions or as a manifestation of von Hippel-Lindau 


(VHL) disease. Hemangioblastomatosis, a disseminated form of hemangioblastoma, is an extremely unusual type of the 


disease which had been reported mainly in non-VHL disease. It is known to exhibit similar clinical features. Most patients 


underwent surgical resection of the primary lesion, and hemangioblastomatosis developed after variable intervals. Because 


there is no specific treatment, it has been reported very poor prognosis. A 55-year-old woman initially diagnosed as sporadic 


hemangioblastoma because satellite left temporal mass was considered as meningioma and evaluation for VHL disease 


including VHL gene study was negative. 3 years later, she diagnosed as disseminated hemangioblastomatosis and resected 


left temporal mass was diagnosed as hemangioblastoma, which was compatible with VHL disease. We report a rare case 


of hemangioblastomatosis in a VHL gene negative woman with some beneficial effect of bevacizumab.




Neurol Med Chir (Tokyo) 46, 294¿297, 2006


Parasagittal Leptomeningeal Hemangioblastoma


—Case Report—


Murat COSAR, Mustafa Aziz HATIBOGLU*, A. Celal IPLIKCIOGLU*,


and Deniz OZCAN**


Department of Neurosurgery, Afyon Kocatepe University, Afyon, Turkey;


Departments of *Neurosurgery and **Pathology, Okmeydani Training Hospital,


Istanbul, Turkey




CASE REPORT


Supratentorial leptomeningeal


hemangioblastoma resection after


preoperative embolization


Ching-Yi Lee a


, Shiu-Jau Chen a,b,


*


a Department of Neurosurgery, Mackay Memorial Hospital, Taipei, Taiwan


b Department of Medicine, Mackay Medicine College, New Taipei City, Taiwan


Received 12 August 2015; received in revised form 12 October 2015; accepted 10 November 2015




Leptomeningeal hemangioblastoma


Case illustration


CLAUDIO AGOSTINELLI, M.D., FEDERICO RONCAROLI, M.D., ERCOLE GALASSI, M.D., BRUNO BERNARDI, M.D., 


NICOLA ACCIARRI, M.D., AND GIOVANNI TANI, M.D.


Departments of Oncology, Section of Anatomic Pathology, and Neuroscience, Sections of Neurosurgery and Neuroradiology, Bellaria


Hospital; Department of Neuropathology, Division of Neuroscience and Psychological Medicine, Imperial College, Faculty of Medicine,


London, United Kingdom; and Institute of Radiology, St. Orsola Hospital, Bologna Italy




Case Report


A report of supratentorial leptomeningeal


hemangioblastoma and a literature review


Hiroaki Takeuchi, Norichika Hashimoto, Ryuhei Kitai and Toshihiko Kubota


Department of Neurosurgery, Faculty of Medical Sciences, University of Fukui, Fukui, Japan