From my early childhood, Mum became a vital and integral part of my life. She is the diamond of my life. I have a little mother, I call her Mum. She is the magic charm of my gloomy and solitary life. She had always made me feel so special.
Have you ever said, "I'm fine, very good when you weren't because most people don't understand?"
But my heart was like a sponge, sucking up feelings and emotions, even pain. Born with a soul of a mermaid who could only suffer pain since mermaids have no tears I suffered more acutely. I could hear the voice of the witch " Every step I took was as the witch had said it would be; I felt as if she were treading upon the points of needles or sharp knives." But this is fantasy, let's come to the scientific view behind the pain.
I became a Guinea pig at such a young age!
Through all hardships and forfeitures of every kind--supported by the one thought in every facet of life. When life is sheer willpower hanging by two or three threads, she tells of the wondrous things in my rare and strange life and we together have journeys and magnificent adventures mostly making rounds of hospitals.
This all happened, and we are put in such situations because of my sly and foxy uncle and his tricky strategies.
Yesterday standing in the balcony I hurled out curses steadily against the uncle, aunt and the Didi singer who tried to swat her out of the way like a fly sitting on the wall can be easily swatted with a rolled-up magazine.
They made a cunning plan to shove her out of the way so that without her the family doesn't insist upon that the inheritance belongs to the family because she was the Achilles heel and without me parents won't survive and they could easily take over the family estate. Father didn't have sufficient money for her liver transplant when they hatched the wretched plan but had the mind to fetch the moon for me.
Have patience until I unfold the story of my life at the right pace and precision so that you can judge yourself from each slice of life, I present to you.
He is the youngest son of my grandparents. But I must say here that my father was a naive man of which fact I presume his siblings had taken advantage.
Grandma was a brainless, mean-minded prejudiced woman who could easily be brainwashed. She had a big ego and an inflated sense of self and thought herself above everyone because her husband had money and means. She believed in racism.
She never praised anyone other than her daughter and youngest son. She was always partial towards her youngest son and thought him to be very clever. Clever he was but in a crafty way. It is because of those shrewd, wily, and cunning ways of his that I am going through all this poverty, hoping that in my life story like in all fiction the good will end happily and the bad unhappily.
It is said ‘Excess of everything is bad.’ Such is the case with excessive wealth. Excess of wealth makes one haughty and full of false pride. The desire for more wealth makes a man greedy. A man who has amassed abundant wealth is prone to sensual pleasures. He gets entangled in the enjoyment of more and more worldly pleasures and loses his inner vision. Ultimately, he loses his peace and happiness.
Lust, greed, anger and false pride, etc. can act very strongly on our mind and can lead it astray and thus cause great damage. These strong impulses of sense organs must be brought under full control. This can be done by cultivating a strong willpower through proper understanding, strong and steady determination, and self-confidence.
I could never infer the whole nature of the sly lustful uncle's strangely showing off his superiority from the parts I could see then but as I said life alerted us many times, but we never understood. My father was not clever enough with no twists in his mind. It was not his fault. He realized it all when he was in his early sixties, just a few days before his departure from this world.
The uncle was married after Grandpa's death to a woman puffed up with self-importance. She is a worthy better half of her conspiring husband, thinking her to be the undisputed queen of the elites of the society
Both were adept in the art or process of gaining the advantage in situations employing crafty or ingenious ploys "Wherever you find a great man, you will find a great mother or a great wife standing behind him"--- in this case, was the wife.
From childhood, I have not been as others were
I never enjoyed hop-skip-jump that's for sure,
Being sick girl lookin' for the doctor's cure
In my adolescence couldn't satisfy my
Desire to fly
Interests hobbies passions weird desires
Do you ever wonder just what God requires?
Given just one life to face things where everyone conspires
Put me in a life of big mess
Without any play-fellow thinking
Terribly lonely I am need some solicitude against the deluge of solitude
Paternal solicitude was quite indefatigable
Father wasn't tough and able
With faith heart' blockage
Gasping for air
With whole world's a-watchin'
Peeking out and stare
His efforts nobody in the world could compare
Gave her daughter a new lease of life
When the commander, solver of every problem died
And passed away
My father perished soon after the transplant and my foxy uncle took our house from us and we were left penniless and homeless. It was then that my real tough times began and we had two choices ...death or preservation of life.
Not only we faced shocking poverty where we didn’t have money for food the next day, but I acquired MDR- TB living in shabby houses and changed houses seven times hounded by landlords.
My brain literally changed in chemical composition when I understood the frightfulness and the oddity of my nasty lingering illness and its larger economic implications.
When in poverty, you face medical embarrassments, the humiliation of asking for financial help, physical suffering which is always there money concerns for food, medicines and rent.
Living in a lousy cramped house I faced many acts of kindness, many acts of madness but didn't flop down to the bottom. Itching or scratching diseases have solid attention from the government and the public but in my case, many vociferous suggestions, whispering advice came to me disapproving my smiling visage.
My brain tumours are the rarest ones from 1902-2013 only 132 cases have been reported globally. A fellow remarked after he saw the picture of the scan of my brain tumours.
" you have more tumours in the brain than people have lice in hair.''
In every act of betrayal,
Every crime inflicted
You can smell the money.
‘Money’ and ‘Power’ are the root causes in every act of felony, every crime, every treachery committed since time immemorial.
Money, gold, holds allure because it gives power, a lavish lifestyle and many are ready to harm a life for its powerful charisma.
Money tempts most people to wrongdoing.
Crime is as old as humanity.
Thus, it is since ancient times that brothers are slaughtering brothers for the power of the throne and the wealth it brings along.
Slaughtering, poisoning, strangling, asphyxiating, backstabbing, but achieving money and power and destroying every life on the way.
Such is the queer nature of the human race.
Breathing is a race,
With longing and restlessness everywhere
Bearing grief every day
All my life in a certain way
To see if you feel alive
Or just existing muddled
When life was sheer willpower hanging by two or three threads
A lost breadwinner, now who will bring a small bit of bread,
Faithful bruvver of mine.
Who had sworn, so I will be fine,
Affectionately said
"There were many generous people who could do the duty, perform the responsibility
he had sworn ardent, answering commitment to his pater.
I can't care for you because I have a wife
I will look after you later
After your death in next life."
"I will do my duty after your death
When leaving sweet memories to ease away pain you step into the afterlife"
Karma says if you want happiness in life, never be an owner of love be a donor of love
Woman who works in a slaughterhouse
Who is somebody's wedded Spouse,--
Threatens to drop dead the very moment
Whereon the stars in secret influence comment;
Life is one magical moment
Where dreams are woven
Keeping eyes open
Exploring each moment
Feeling the thrill of the moment
Why did I get Covid 19 despite voluntary isolation?
Ignorance prevails
“Ignoring isn't ignorance,
Ignorance requires guts, boldness
Gloat knowledge wisdom
Prancing dancing scatty smartie
Experts have also strongly suggested
Solely relying on testing as a safeguard
You can not expect to be a lifeguard
People making ‘lax’ and taking other safety measures
For thoughtless pleasures, taking delight in certain measures
Taking mask-wearing and social distancing lightly
Pass on infections to others harshly
Tests are a preventive measure and only effective
As long as you put in place other security measures
"Holy cow!"
I could see the conspiracy,
The human tyranny,
Defendant spouse
As my C-reactive protein and the D dimer rose
Defending the demoniac strength
We are no longer in same wavelength
Commenting my daily titanic struggle
Being a Mere pawn on the chessboard of life
Ordained my death
With an easy breath
Blindness and ignorance, Will lead you nowhere,
Unless you are aware
Long lament of the discreet
The parallel lines shall never meet.
I would define my life as the family trait lust…
And all but forever lost.
The rabbit runs faster than the fox,
Because the rabbit is running for his life
While the fox is only running for his dinner.
There's a difference between frustration and determination
It's all in your mind
Seek pluck till you find
I am gonna look for hope till my eyes go blind
I had a liver transplant owing to several tumours in the liver which could not be taken out individually causing excruciating pain due to frequent haemorrhages in 2008. The largest lesion caused splaying of the portal vein around the lesion. Hepatic veins were compressed and displaced by the segment 4&8 mass lesion. I had two episodes of bleeding in the hemangioblastomas and required hospitalisation.
The transplanted liver needs the immune system to be suppressed so that it isn’t rejected like any pathogen. Immunosuppressants are expensive life-saving medicines. I am on immunosuppressive medicines for life.
The essence behind continuing an immunosuppressive regimen is that the transplanted organ into the body of the host is not similar in genetic structure(DNA) of the recipient.
We have been endowed with a wonderfully complex structure called the immune system to protect us from viruses which are essentially nucleic acid DNA or RNA.
Hence, the immune system not having the capacity to distinguish between a new organ transplanted to save life destroys it instead which results in rejection.
The side effect in question? These medications may increase your risk of infection.
In general, however, the medication causes all or part of your immune system to “turn off” so that your body doesn’t go into attack mode, waging war against whatever it sees as a foreign invader.
.
This almost implies that if you are taking some of these medications you will fall ill every time you pass by someone with the sniffles along with the big stuff, like the flu or tuberculosis. Or end up with Covid like me.
I was diagnosed with a rare disease von Hippel-Lindau or VHL. It is a genetic form of cancer. VHL patients battle a series of tumours throughout their life. VHL may occur in up to 10 organs of the body also there is a possibility of neuroendocrine tumours.
It is also understood mutations of VHL genes are also part of causes of other tumours including breast, colon etc.
VHL is the key to understanding how tumors grow and how potential theories can inhibit angiogenesis.
VHL is a tumor suppressor protein that is localized in the nucleus or cytoplasm, the extent to which being dependent on cell density.
The hypoxia-inducible transcription factors have also been shown to play a crucial role in tumour promotion in other cancers including breast, brain, colon, gastric, lung, skin, ovarian, prostate, renal, pancreatic. Increased levels of growth factors result in angiogenesis.
Together, these esteemed researchers provided an understanding of how cells can sense and adapt to changing oxygen levels and how this results in cancer, such as in brain, bladder, breast, colon, ovarian, kidney, and pancreatic cancers.
When cells perceive a lack of oxygen (hypoxia), such as through a defect in the tumor suppressor gene (VHL), the transcription factor, HIF (Hypoxia-Inducible Factor), is not allowed to bind to the VHL protein. HIF is thus protected from degradation.
VHL is a genetic form of cancer. VHL patients battle a series of tumors in up to 10 parts of the body throughout their lives. Tumors can develop in the brain, spine, retina, kidney, pancreas, adrenal gland, inner ear, reproductive tract, liver, and lung. Lack of timely intervention can often lead to morbidity and mortality.
As stated by Dr. Kaelin, “When you are studying about von Hippel-Lindau disease, you are not just studying about [the] …. disease … you are also now touching other diseases as well, where we can use the VHL gene to understand what is happening.” As such, the understanding of HIF involvement in tumorigenesis provides hope for the 40% of the world’s population who will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives.
The VHL gene and its impact on cancer development.
Thanks to this research, the FDA has approved eight drugs for the treatment of kidney and breast cancers. These agents target the regulation of cellular growth factors (the downstream consequence of elevated HIF levels).
When I told my doctors about it, " send me your writing please"
After completing their medical degrees do they plunge into the world of unique diseases, keep themselves updated, keep track of all those maladies?
Life is so meaningful, so wonderful, a little burst of kindness, softness can bring a colossal burst of Sunshine which can't be done too soon because you don't know how soon it will be too late. I was diagnosed with genetic cancer and currently, I am getting chemo for metastatic neuroendocrine tumors. I am a zebra, Warrior Princess Anchor my anchorless ship floating around the deep sea. I survived my liver transplant on this day 13 yrs ago. I have faith in me I can win the war of life
When life was sliding out of me
Hope roused the warrior inside me
And I started my journey
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