The system serves such a dead giveaway, letting my life slip away.

 Trembling with hope or expectation,

Smiling with anticipation

Suddenly I feel alive 

With the disease just to mention

I may lie in bed awaiting my mashed meal

It's quite some time I had a hearty meal

Now I run to the loo

Holding my belly crouching like a kangaroo

At times I drool

Bumpety bump

I feel a lump

I don't jump

But call Mum

When I need to pee

I wonder how deftly she handles me

Bedwetting Bedshitting

Head and body rocking

My eternal protector

Got me a bed protector

Pancreas the warehouse of enzymes for digestion

Because of tumor congestion

Delivery to the gut is blocked

Food is not broken down nutrients cannot be delivered to cells

Stormy world that dwells

Food simply goes right through and out the other end Without being digested and absorbed.

Starving the cells

Malabsorption causes diarrhea, bloating, cramping, abdominal pain, fatty stools  with a strong odor, and possible deficiencies of fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E and K)

.

My am getting abdominal pain, liquid diarrhea, sudden blurry vision, tiredness,fizzy burps,odorous fatty stools

Elementary, Dear Watson

I am the odd one

Sudden electricity goes through parts of my skull or leg

Crushing my spirit is like crushing an egg

It's true, people are disappointing, 

Few doctors are discouraging,

Government is displeasing

How come by telephonic conversation

Proton therapy is apt, was the determination?

Old scans were sent via G-Drive in the age of technology 

For evaluation by Radiation Oncology

Pancreatic prescription for evaluation by gastroenterology.

No need to open my brain

While talking symptoms are evident 

Discussed and felt more confident

In vain, for his literature could not furnish an Indian precedent

I am not alone, Dr Russell Lonser's letter is self evident

After 2017 radiation therapy I have a chronic ischemic brain

Cerebral ischemia or brain ischemia

I never had decorous hysteria

I was never haunted by megalomania

A proton beam directed at a tumor travels in a straight trajectory

 Towards its target, it gives off most of its energy

At a defined depth called the Bragg peak, and then stops

A giant fire inside the brain pops

In the battlefield of life are the remnants of history.

Radiation and it's issue 

Of destroying healthy tissue

 While X-rays used for radiation  frequently deposit more energy

 Within the healthy tissues of the body than within the tumor.

 When there isn’t enough blood flow to the brain

 Leading ading to limited oxygen supply 

It may lead to the necrosis of brain 

Or ischemic stroke

At Midnight stroke

My spirit will rise up like smoke

And choke those who  turned in the blink of an eye,

But we can't avoid hurting each other,

When we all want a chance at this life.

The system serves such a dead giveaway

Letting my life slip away.