A little girl, with dreams in her eyes, many dreams, many desires...she wishes to explore the mysteries of the cosmos, in rapturous awe ponder the beauty of the World… marvel at the finesse of creation. With little feet, she dreams of trudging through the water, with wide-open eyes,...gazing at the flying birds gliding in the blue sky.
She was an ordinary girl born with a package deal of jinx, a rare disease, which attacks as she grows up, like stinging wasps, and she has to fight each vivil of a tumour. She plucked up, spirit enough at that, eyes stuffed with wonder she looked at the World which is fantastic than any dream but then as she grew up she realizes life in its many wonders it has no guarantees and no securities; diseases plague people in many forms...people who get no help and hence she decides to study medicine and try to help...be a part of the war waged against all diseases in the society, be it physical or be it those smitten by adversity.
Time surely goes fast, as fast as a flowing stream. As the little girl starts growing up and prepares herself up towards fulfilling her dream, The Creator might have chortled as life is not orange marmalade, it is not easily got. Life is an uncharted territory in which you have to soldier on with courage. Life is a chance granted once, she thinks we are given no choice; we have been proffered everything in life we have to accept it and build our existence upon it.
The Universe decides, and based on those decisions incidents happen, some people live and some people die. For everything in this Universe, there’s a season; a time to break down, and a time to build up.
The girl was thrown among the rapids as she arrived at a crossroads of her life which upended everything...out of the blue something happened to change the course of her life’s events... it was the untimely death of the Commander of her legion, her dear Father. The Commander who had a major life claiming heart attack, in whom the smallest exertion set him gasping breathlessly worked for her daughter’s secure life till the tag-end of his life but was outplayed by his sly youngest brother. Her father the Commander was uncharacteristically deceived because he was gullible enough to trust salt for sugar. The girl lost all hope and the World fell apart around her. She hardly cried, she did not cry now. Daemons stalked, and the Dragon swindled her shelter by trickery and let her get sucked into the vortex of poverty. Those who were so indifferent of her life, she remembers the wretchedness of those wicked smiles of satisfaction when she was being taken to the hospital in an emergency...those who have never known to help, who won't part a penny to save a life...the girl believes there's a time to live and a time to die and their lives are no different from the rule. It was more than a family quarrel, as it involved someone's life. Incredibly harsh and cruel things were said and done ….her shelter was swindled leaving her in poverty, at fate’s mercy not knowing what to expect, what to eat and how to arrange her life-saving medicines and treatment. Evil spiteful, wicked, hard-hearted relations turned tail and fled when her malady struck and her life was in turmoil.
She has faced a lot of the dark side of life as well; swindling, thievery, trickery, embezzlement, abuse, injustice, wrongdoing, envy, hatred, malice, uncharitableness but she has always been plucky and with a firm belief that although she was infirm but had the nerve to go through the long weary march. Beyond the darkness is light so we just have to hang on. Aside from the Dragon in her life there’s been certain befuddled gnome of men, residing in the vacuum of non-awareness who tried to belittle her strife and sought equivalence in her out of the way condition which is never seen before hardly realizing the gravity of her situation when a transplanted liver requires medicines to be accepted by the body and function, cancer spread through the kidney needs immediate surgery or a brain riddled with tumours need immediate treatment, it is imperative as the disease is rare with manifold vivils affecting multiple organs. The compounded difficulties which appeared because of such people could make her fall with a Big Thud! But the Universe listened and infallible friends formed her legion, marched with her without regression, and flew fearlessly without reason and things started turning out the right way for her.
She was determined enough to never capitulate, never give way, but fight to the last trying to come to terms with the events in her life. Mornings that came with the flaming sunrise became the favourite part of her day, it brought with it hope that this day would be better than yesterday, even if slightly better. Her pleas were not unheard by the Universe and slowly the terrain of her life smoothed down although studded with sudden landmines or bombs which came unannounced, so many that it was difficult to deal with. To cope with her troubles she had to mutate like her flawed genes to survive the new reality. Thus she started climbing the crested hill of life.
Her experience, as faced, and to survive the disease in an unprecedented situation, in unimaginable difficulties and pain could make her a victim but by winning one by one fourteen wars valiantly combating those incessant vivils cropping up, one down another up... in the hospital and remaining unvanquished and after seven times tumours blossomed in her brain and with her right eye shutdown and fighting through the adverse conditions of her life she chose to be Warrior Princess.
The physical pain of an intolerable magnitude everyone feels, but for a certain amount of time... for her, it became a part of life, so much so that she doesn't mention it anymore. She is ambushed by the Old monster tarragon which makes her thin and gaunt. She has forgotten what body feels without pain but by a happy and nice accident, an alchemist appears in her life, and where all others had said no chance the alchemist diffuses the bombs in her lungs by magic and cures her out of it although it takes an immensely long time and a hefty sum of money. Her entreaties to the Universe were not unheard and she was provided by the right legion of friends at the right moment and all her pecuniary needs were taken care of. Thus she healed as the body has powers unknown and if the mind is set up...it happens. Her entire life is scattered with bombs of certain kinds so that she always has to lie low until they are detected and diffused by a squad of Cap'ns with knowhow. Especially those landmines are to be considered which could blow her off with utter BOOM!!!
Another episode she remembers from her journey of life is when she was detected with cancer in her kidney and it needed immediate surgery, she was also diagnosed with a tumour in her brain blossoming in her optic nerve claiming her vision. In her helpless condition when she was running around trying to arrange for her treatment, her nagging landlord gave a court notice to vacate the flat because he was running at a loss. It was appalling, but the fact that most things have always turned out the right way for her assured her that she should never give up! The judge decided in her favour and she survived both the afflictions well in her place of residence and was given time of recuperation before vacating.
She remembers an event from her life where in the winter months she was taken to the battlefield inside a cave in the hospital all dressed up and ready for the imminent war ahead when suddenly the Captain comes with a big book and asks her to sign in it as they can’t go ahead with her war without her written consent. She mustered up all the courage she could, thought of her Mother’s face, and signed. She said to the Captain with a grin on her face “Well, Cap’n I’ll not leave the battlefield yet! My shelf life is not over yet.” The War was an unthought-of success. After each triumph in her exclusive wars, she says
“I see I am going to live a little while longer, and I am glad of it for I am not going to die, especially a trivial death."
She remembers telling her war stories when she meets people and finds they are amazed to find what she’s actually going through. She remembers showing the scanned image of her brain tumours all lit up, those tiny specks of light inside her skull which brought forth the comment people don’t have so many lice in hair as she has tumours in the brain. This made her wonder is she strong? Well, adversity tries people and it’s indeed surprising what one can do when faced with the biggest challenges in direst moments.
This is absolutely crazy of her; she gets spurts of happiness for no reason at all! She even tells her Mum “this is my best day!” just to convey her feelings of aliveness; that somehow she feels alive, infused with a great lot of physical energy... Just happy! So happy! She always dresses or washes or moves or eats or sleeps or talks enjoying every minute of what she is doing and her mother's unfailing love makes her so happy with life! Being aware of her disease and its repeating nature she tends to live life intensely every moment. Her mother's happy presence sets the golden charm working in her life. In fact, they both have a pact between them that when the time comes they would leave the reality...the World together and cross into the final oblivion.
Happiness comes of its own accord, despite the lousy circumstances she often ended up with, and is sort of a “force” that helps her win wars and doesn’t let her gravitate into optimistic pessimism. She is happy in her mother's presence... happy, grateful, pleased, and contented.
Life has chained her in an endless cycle not unfolding its mystery beforehand, with her heart synced to her mother’s she can face life as it comes. Her mother attends to her every need, standing by like a rock with great enthusiasm. Her mother's love makes her energy and strength of will contagious. Mum is the most precious person in her world, a vital and integral part. In manifold distress, in great agonizing conditions when they had to think about the next day's meal living in a shack fighting with the vivils and the taragon she remains steadfast marshalled by the prowess of her mother. Her mother’s bright love slowly fades out the pain, grief, apprehension, agony out of her life and says without pain how will you know joy? It’s an old and awkward thought but when in distress of her affliction it rings true to her. The Blind are treated with solicitude by the society but there’s no such option for her unheard of disease. Sometimes tears smart the eyes thinking of others living a golden vivid life without hurdles and with pleasures and pleasantries but then she lets those thoughts and her ugly past drift away and stop asking questions, switches off her mind, and starts looking forward, never back and shape her days into a happy pattern. Getting one’s bearings in the tempest which is her life has been tough indeed.
Her desire to pursue her studies in the medical field didn’t materialize due to her manifold problems, she suffered so much but she still has things to live for. She has to fight those Dark spirits, defeat the Dragon, the taragon being defeated so that it can't rear its head up, the vivils to be dealt with as they come she goes for a long and weary march.
The girl thinks of distributing courage, laughter, glee to be her job, for they are the warm things, kind things, sweet things of life. Destiny, or fate, whatever it was might have plans for the girl otherwise when a Cap’n wrote on paper she wouldn’t live beyond six weeks ten years before, her boat would have drowned then, but it didn’t and she has survived many a deadlines since then. Reading was something which came naturally to her, her bookshelf consoles and keeps out worries from messing with her; she can always imagine different worlds inside books which help her further to live unfazed looking at life from various perspectives with a deeper sense. Even multitudes of complications with her vision couldn’t keep her from reading. She wishes to write and let people know there’s hope and there’s always something to live for....those like her attacked by vivils and dragons should rouse their courage and march on … take life as it comes… Gods will intervene if they show candid daring in their stubborn misery… she writes...
A Warrior princess I am,
I wage wars with head held high,
A warrior, never afraid of wounds,
A Warrior dies dancing that’s who I am.
I still dare to change things I can,
I resuscitate ceaselessly,
I wage wars with verve,
In a point of no return,
Yes, a Warrior princess I am.
History repeats and once again she needed her brain tumours to be repaired because she was going to die of respiratory failure due to pontomedullary or cervical cord compression.
Madam, fancy out of apathy, hit her and said without a mask she should die right now otherwise who will account for her brother's help?
Within 3 days I got High D dimer and CRP but no antibody. Antigen couldn't be tested because it might hurt my throat. Bilateral trigeminal nerve, vagus, Hypoglossal, Glossopharyngeal, facial, auditory are all compressed by tumours.
Why am I pandemic stricken? It’s because a woman unaware of the viral world and how it works out of apathy said I should die right now, else who will account for it if my brother gets ill? What guts!
Mum cried all day gasping for breath with 80% heart blocked commander gave her a new lease of life and the transplanted liver is affected by the virus. She told her son he's a disgrace, a black sheep and the plan of leaving the world together was transpired by the couple
But being a fighter not a coward both decided to fight.
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