Blowing in the wind

There was once a little girl and nobody felt any compassion for her. She grew up amidst a lot of bawling and screaming and  she sat alone and silent without any playfellow thinking,

 

" If only I had someone who would kiss me and understand my pain."

But her heart was like a sponge, sucking up feelings and emotions, even pain. She was born with the soul of a mermaid who could only suffer pain. Since mermaids have no tears she suffered more acutely.

Nobody paid any attention to her, nobody watched and cared for her. At a tender age, her delicate little feet felt like knives were being driven through them.

Nobody was concerned or cared about the trifling little spirit being engrossed in the glory of their own story setting a sharp pang which pierced her heart. She found herself sorrowful and alone but she couldn't mourn or weep or express her suffering although her heart shrieked and howled, she never uttered a word.

She was never very sociable and children used to make fun of her and refused to play. At school or home, she had nobody to talk to. Oh! how she desired to be sitting with other children prattling away merrily, joking and talking nonsense. 

Nobody read her charming stories and she slept heavily only to wake up in the morning after having hideous nightmares.

It is certainly a good fortune to belong to a well-to-do family but when you are the only girl child of the generation belonging to an orthodox family, it doesn't necessarily mean that they would be delighted in you and faithful to you. Parents were exactly the opposite of the family members and took care of the girl until the next child was born. They fussed over their second child because he was visibly ill with incidents of abnormal electrical activity in his brain.

This made the little girl terribly lonely as she needed some solicitude against the deluge of solitude rising from below as she was condemned to live in loneliness, never known before. Black heavy clouds covered her life, thunder rolled and amidst the bustle and noise of existence, she found herself lonesome, by herself. It felt grim in the pitch darkness where you couldn't see a single object but her eyes twinkled and shone and she took tiny steps ahead holding onto whatever bush or creepers came on the way in her journey.

The embodiment of "Aum", the Creator, sat on the mountain peak at the core of creation lost in meditation but with his extra eye and wisdom, he watched her every step.

The time came when abandonment, desertion was in full swing and brought anxiety with it. Hah! Pain? Nobody cared if she lived or died because it will bring them to gain. 

Mother guarded her children and stood on the lookout for any storm as the conspiration went on a molecular level. 

In the dismal netherworld The Restrainer, Yama sat on his throne with his noose and Danda-the rod turning his moustache proudly and asking his accountant Chitragupta who is to be judged next. Chitragupta came ahead with his massive register and announced the girl's name. The two great hounds with four fiery eyes started drooling.

Mother guarded her little nestling by wrapping her wings around her while her father flew away. Standing on one leg, day-to-day she stood like a grand sentinel. She continued her task spiritedly and even in her sleep, she continued to pray earnestly to the power from which the entire universe has emerged.

She lifted her tearful eyes towards heaven and prayed,

" O' Mother of the entire universe, do thou help me! I must venture, although I have been duped, swindled, deceived, betrayed and everybody has left me, I shalt not be denied help from heaven, it's my duty to protect my children from the torrents of rain. I can not abandon them."

Heaven smiled at her courage and perseverance.

She trained her other child to face every hurdle beautifully and become self- sufficient and he developed his own morals and values and didn't wander off into the wide world while flying high.

Help preserve my daughter! She begged the apothecary.

While facing a horribly wicked malicious fate she never screamed with terror or annoyance. Her daughter faced the knife with a sweet smile and sparkling eyes, never looking like the picture of grief. 

Yama was standing beside the procedure bed ready to toss his noose to get the soul of the girl. He is famous due to his responsibility for good decision-making based on records of a person’s deeds. But looking at the bold and daring guiltless face he got flabbergasted and called his scribe Chitragupta, who fetched his logbook to check if the name was really there or not. Yama is also known as Dharmaraja, King of Justice, he is the punisher of the wicked but couldn't find any wickedness, vice, immorality in the girl's deeds or her parents. Scratching his chin he returned to his palace in the netherworld.

Then again in the midst of hunger, worry, for medicine and struggle, staying in a strange house, the girl was ambushed by a pathogen, a bug who came blowing in the wind and made the host suffer with every breath.

While tending her daughter, Mother lifted her eyes filled with vitality towards the Heaven  and asked,

' O' the God of Wind, you are vital to life, you are Prana. Why the suffering? Why the distress?Why the pain?" 

He whistled away making the windows rattle while a phenomenal "Aum" resounded from the centre of the universe.

A disembodied voice rang in her years,

"In every field of life, you enjoy the results of your work or suffer the results and you cannot escape it. This is your karma. You suffer or enjoy the results of your activities from time immemorial, but you can change the results of your karma and this change depends on the way you react. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What she's suffering is the karma of her past lives, it depends on her reaction towards her sufferings, how she is going to cope, get along, manage."

As she made it through one ailment, another became ready to charge ahead. Once again in an extremely confusing situation, Chitragupta, the bookkeeper of the God of death, Yama made her sign the logbook when she was hooked onto machines, punctured with needles and tubes were going through them inside the operation theatre and Yama was standing behind nodding his head. She sat up, mustered up all her strength, saw her mother's face in front of her eyes and signed. Then when she laid down she showed an upturned thumb to them for luck. Yama covered his face, the Oh, no! It was a sure catch but he missed this time too! The way she was sneaking out he wouldn't ever capture her it seemed.

Then again a fierce situation came and her heart stopped jumping with joy, enjoying the elixir of life and she learnt to shed tears of wicked pain hugging her mother at night when she felt her soul screaming out with the agony and howling in pain. She hugged her mother and muttered and cried as the ruler of the clouds and skies, the God of Thunder and Storms wielded his weapon, lightning and thunderbolt and sent electricity through her brain. She had a jabbing pain as if a live electric cable was held against her eyes, cheeks, jaw and teeth.

Her first feeling was of anger but as the pain ebbed and flowed she felt ashamed because anger, bitterness, outrage is sin and she didn't want more bad karmas in her life. God has given her lifelines because of her deeds but she didn't want her lifelines to be taken. She found the sun shining gloriously, singing birds and celebrations with mum so delightful. She understood how her mum had been exploited and overburdened by her in-laws, how she had taken care of her and suffered herself as her own kith and kin turned their backs on her.  She had never known soundness, only struggle. With age, she too is getting tired and irritable tackling all the work single-handedly. She needs to be taken care of. Now she realised her pain is indescribable, unspeakable, disgusting but so is mum's life-long struggle.

As she read the headlines "Girl raped twice by father during lockdown while mother stuffs cloth in her mouth". She was filled with revulsion, nausea and felt sick in the stomach. This is Kaliyuga, how people have changed. Every day she prays for the same mother in next life, if it really exists. Perhaps in the next life, she'll be able to really care for her, as of now she is dependent on her in many ways but still, she resolved to put in her best efforts. The widespread disease has brought out the worst aspect of human character! Thinking this she switched on the radio and listening to the song went towards the window.

As Bob Dylan was singing 

"How many times can a man lookup

Before he sees the sky?

How many ears must one person have

Before he can hear people cry?

And how many deaths will it take 'til he knows

That too many people have died?

The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind

The answer is blowing in the wind

Oh, the answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind

The answer is blowing in the wind"

She looked heavenwards and saw the God of Wind mounted on a deer held his hand up as if he was blessing and the next moment Lord Hanuman flew past carrying a mountain on his palm and looked at her winked, and dissolved into the clouds.