A little girl, with dreams in her eyes, many dreams, many desires...she wishes to explore the mysteries of the cosmos, rapt in awe and ponder the beauty of the World… marvel at the finesse of creation. With wide open eyes she dreams of trudging through the water, gliding in the blue sky...gazing at the flying birds. Eyes stuffed with wonder she looks at the World which is more fantastic than any dream but then as she grew up she realised in its many wonders it has no guarantees and no securities; diseases plague people who get no help and hence she decided to study medicine and be a doctor to help those people.
Time surely goes fast, as fast as a flowing stream. As the little girl started growing up and preparing herself up towards fulfilling her dream, The Creator might have chortled as life is not orange marmalade, it is not easily got.Life is an uncharted territory in which you have to soldier on with courage. Life is a constant journey honed with dedication where landscape changes with needs and situation. Life is a chance granted once, she thinks we are given no choice,we have been proffered everything in life we have to accept it and build our existence upon it. Life is a War to survive the battlefields. We need dedication, courage.
The girl was thrown among the rapids as she arrived in a crossroads of her life which upended everything...out of the blue something happened to change the course of her life’s events... it was the untimely death of the Commander of her legion, her dear Father. The girl lost all hope and the World fell apart around her. Daemons stalked, and a great daemon swindled her shelter by trickery and let her get sucked into the vortex of poverty. It was an unpleasant business, like all family quarrels, but it was more than just a family quarrel and incredibly harsh and cruel things were said and her shelter was swindled leaving her in poverty, at fate’s mercy not knowing what to expect, what to eat and how to arrange her life-saving medicines. The Universe decides, and on the basis of those decisions incidents happen, some people live and some people die. This harsh law is to test how a creature yields out of necessity. For everything in this Universe there’s a season; a time to breakdown, and a time to build up. She was determined enough to never capitulate,never give way, but fight to the last trying to come to terms with the events in her life.Mornings which came with the flaming sunrise became the favourite part of her day, it brought with it hope that this day would be better than yesterday, even if slightly better. Her entreaties were not unheard by the Universe and slowly the terrain of her life smoothed down although studded with sudden wars which came unannounced, so many that it was difficult to distinguish when one ended, one began; sometimes they even overlapped.To cope with her troubles she had to mutate like her flawed genes to survive the new reality.
She was an ordinary girl born with a package deal of jinx, a rare disease, hardly acknowledged and recognised. Her experience, as faced, and struggled to survive the disease in an unprecedented situation, in unimaginable difficulties and pain could make her a victim but by winning one by one fourteen wars and remaining unvanquished after seven times tumours blossomed in her brain and with her right eye shutdown she chose to be Warrior Princess. Physical pain of an intolerable magnitude everyone feels but it is a part of her life, so much so that she doesn't mention it anymore, though it is of a magnitude that others feel only in pangs and just a few odd times in life, she has forgotten what body feels without pain. Each time Captain said there’s a slim chance, just, she healed and won as the body has powers unknown and if the mind is set upon something, from the core of your heart it happens.
She remembers an episode from her life where in the winter months she was taken to the battlefield all dressed up and ready for the imminent war ahead, when suddenly the Captain comes with a big book and asks her to sign in it as they can’t go ahead in her war without her written consent. She mustered up all the courage she could, thought of her Mother’s face and signed. She said to the Captain with a grin on her face “Well, Cap’n I’ll not leave the battlefield yet! My shelf life is not over yet.” The War was a success.
She remembers telling her war stories when she meets people and finds they are amazed to find what she’s actually going through. She remembers showing the scanned image of her brain tumours all lit up, those tiny specks of light inside her skull which brought forth the comment people don’t have so many lice in hair as she has tumours in brain. This made her wonder is she strong? Well, it’s indeed surprising what one can do when faced with the biggest challenges in direst moments.
This is absolutely crazy of her; she gets spurts of happiness for no reason at all! She even calls up everyone and tells them “this is my best day!” just to convey her feelings of aliveness; that somehow she feels alive, infused with a great lot of physical energy... Just happy! So happy! She always dresses or washes or moves or eats or sleeps or talks enjoying every minute of what she is doing and her mother's unfailing support makes her so happy with life! Being aware of her disease and it's repeating nature she tends to live life intensely every moment. Her mother's happy presence sets the golden charm working.
Happiness comes of its own accord, despite the lousy circumstances she often ended up with, and is sort of a “force” which helps her win wars and doesn’t let her gravitate into optimistic pessimism. She is happy with her mother's presence... happy, grateful,pleased and contented.
She has faced a lot of the dark side of life as well; swindling, forgery, larceny, thievery, trickery, embezzlement, abuse, injustice, wrongdoing but she have always been plucky and had the nerve to go up face them. Beyond the darkness is light so we just have to hang on. Aside from the great daemon in her life there’s been certain befuddled people, residing in the vacuum of non-awareness who tried to belittle her strife and sought equivalence in her out of the way condition which is never seen before hardly realising the gravity of her situation when a transplanted liver requires medicines to be accepted by the body and function, a cancer spread through the kidney needs immediate surgery or a brain riddled with tumours need immediate treatment is imperative as the disease is a rare disease affecting multiple organs. The compounded difficulties which appeared because of such people could have gotten her kerplunk, but infallible friends formed her legion, marched with her without regression, and flew fearless without reason and things started turning out the right way for her.
Another episode she remembers from her journey of life is when she was detected of cancer in her kidney and it needed immediate surgery, she was also diagnosed of a tumour in her brain blossoming in her optic nerve claiming her vision. In her helpless condition when she was running around trying to arrange for her treatment her nagging landlord gave a court notice to vacate the flat because he was running at a loss. It was appalling, but the fact that mostly things have always turned out the right way for her assured her that she never gave up! The judge decided in her favour and she survived both the afflictions well in her place of residence and was given time of recuperation before vacating.
Life has chained her in an endless cycle not unfolding its mystery beforehand, with her heart synced to her mother’s she can face life. Her mother attends to her every need, stands by like a rock with gusto. She is the most precious person in her world, a vital and integral part. In manifold distress, in great agonising conditions she remains steadfast marshalled by the prowess of her mother. Her mother’s bright love slowly fades out the pain, grief, apprehension,agony out of her life and says without pain how will you know joy? It’s an old and awkward thought but when in distress of her affliction it rings true to her. The Blind are treated with solicitude by the society but there’s no such option for her unheard of disease. Sometimes tears smarts the eyes thinking of others living a golden vivid life without hurdles and with pleasures and pleasantries but then she lets those thoughts and her ugly past drift away and stop asking questions, switches off her mind and starts looking forward, never back and shape her days into a happy pattern. Getting one’s bearings in the tempest which is her life has been tough indeed.
Her desire to pursue her studies in the medical-field didn’t materialize due to her manifold problems, she suffered so much but she still had things to live for. She thought of distributing courage, laughter, glee to be her job. Destiny, or fate, whatever it was might have plans for the girl otherwise, when a Cap’n wrote on paper she wouldn’t live beyond six weeks ten years before, it would have gone kerplunk then, but it didn’t and she has survived many a deadlines since then. Reading was something which came naturally to her, bookshelf is a barrier that keeps our worries from messing with us, she can always imagine different worlds inside books which help her further to live unfazed looking at life from various perspectives with a deeper sense. Even multitudes of complications with her vision couldn’t keep her from reading. She wishes to write and let people know there’s hope and there’s always something to live for....she writes...
A Warrior princess I am,
I wage wars with head held high,
A warrior, never afraid of wounds,
A Warrior dies dancing, that's who I am.
I still dare to change things I can,
I resuscitate ceaselessly,
I wage wars with verve,
In a point of no return,
Yes, a Warrior princess I am.
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