Destruction

 Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.

I walk in my shoes, tattered by the voyage.

Then the almost unnameable passion returns.

I never wanted to die.

 Even when those I loved died, went away from me, beyond me. 

My life was never always a question, if for no other reason

I wanted to wake up and see what happened next. 

Even then I have nothing against life.

I know well the grass blades you mention,

the furniture you have placed under the sun.

But self destruction has a special language.

Like wrecked, disabled carpenters, they want to know which tools.

They never ask why?

 I have so simply declared myself,

I have been beaten by  the enemy, eaten the enemy,

Have put up with the craft,  magic.

Who asked me to drop dead.

The other sold the house illegally

To a cacophony  padmasree 

In this way, heavy and thoughtful,

warmer than oil or water,

I have faced, drooling at the war..

And I continued to want to open like that, like the flowers

who lift their heavy heads as the hills outside the window

Flare gold for a moment before they turn

on their sides and bare their creased backs.

Even the cut flowers in a jar of water lift

Their soon to be dead heads and open

Their eyes, even they want a few more sips,

To dwell here, I hoped to be paradise, a few days longer.

I did not think of my body at needle point pain

Even the leftover will is now gone.

Troubles  insurmountable have already betrayed the body.

Still-born, they don't always die,

But dazzled,  I can't forget a drug so sweet

A face would look on and smile.

I am thirsty for compassion.

I can't bear this pain no more, the agony is to kill

To thrust all that life under your burning third eye representing fire. 

His left and right eyes indicate his activity in the physical world. ... In his anger he opened his third eye, and fire from the eye devoured pleasure,

  Kali mata save me by stopping the cycle of life and death

I pleaded with him to open his eye!

Burn me to bhasma

I seek salvation, moksha

That, all by itself, has become a passion.

Death's a sad tone; bruised, you'd say,

Waiting for you, love, desire and health 

year after year,

To  so delicately undo all wounds 

I need wealth

To empty my breath from its bad prison called the Earth

But being a warrior should I want to cross the periphery, the edge

Balanced there, self destruction sometimes meet,

Raging at the bull , a pumped-up moon,

Leaving the bread they mistook for a kiss,

World is an  made for falling into an abyss

Of  deprivation and anxiety

Troubles are insurmountable

Climbing the mountain all my sufferings are accountable 

Leaving the page of the book of life  carelessly open,

Something unsaid, gnawing inside, the phone off the hook

And the love, and aspirations

Whatever it was, an infection.

Stifling to Death

Stopping all pain and breath.

I hate the Earth 

My forte

Unvanquishable infusion of life

With a deep sense of humanity

Who thinks of humility?

I'd rather live in Hell-fire 

Pandemic's quick fire shall burn

Violence on each other out fear

 In frustration and pain I can no longer bear

With no peace in my brain 

I shun paradise

I shun rain

Kalki the tenth Vishnu Avatar will expunge humans like dinosaurs

Because all have become a carnivore

Desiring my meat

The disease of conceit.

World when it was pointless and chaotic

However, viruses can infect all other forms of life

Virus genes are everywhere, merged into the genomes of all organisms

With with correct mechanisms

Viruses cannot generate their own fuel

These artificially engineered modification 

Were thought to increase the range of host cells 

So it can infect and put the world in frustration

Now the virus in the stormy world dwells

Mutating Covid is Kalki

Aatar who rejuvenates existence by ending the darkest and destructive period to remove

The world will improve 

betrayal, discord, disharmony, unnaturalness, wrongness, evil, immorality,

From what I've seen, I hate humanity

I hate humanity

 With hypocrite mentality

No  morality