A test of inner strength awaits as the pressure builds upon the nerves and various problems build-up which may exhaust my energy with the approach of the winter months and a certain bored feeling sets in let alone the loneliness.
Although I was born with a disease, I grew up carefree in my abundance. Mum was strict in her manner, in stability. But the loss of control of my father's judgment took its toll.
I, being overly structured and couldn't control my near future and started receiving injuries due to the flow of energy.
During this frustrating phase, I considered paying attention to paperwork and have only trustworthy people around me.
When more than one unwanted change is coming in various areas of life, hope is positive merit and by preparing to correct the steps adapting to the change well, not being sensitive to criticism I can go on in the same path with alacrity.
When God's wave of a magic wand happens in my life it will be a good omen and my luck will truly turn the most positive and most beneficial way. I believe that the wheel of fortune will turn soon.
I will embrace the new beginning and go out on a journey because that's what life is about. I can feel from within that I am on the bluff of a new beginning, a new experience that will keep back all the fear, worry, or doubt.
When I browse the history of my life mentally all my life people pretended to be deaf. Father had done a lot of coaxing and cajoling with her mother, to save the life of his first kid. Ultimately it was tyranny Granny who hurt him most and he perished. He relocated us and we fought and from a victim became a survivor.
I believe in Karma and destiny but I believe in luck too. Being a gambler I took every chance with control determination and willpower.
The Gambler
O Mind! O, Soul!...
The irony of the struggle,
Strange fatigue,
The emotional strain,
Tantalize and torment,
The desolateness of existence.
Weary mind grunts and groans,
Everything feels bitterly cold,
Engulfed in the gloom of doom.
The human scum,
The rotting heart,
Hypocrisy and cruelty,
Cowardice and defiance,
Immensely solitary existence,
The Repulsive individual,
Feels a growing desire for gamely death.
The gambler cries in the sodden life,
Everything is mistrustful, scheming, and vile.
Struck by forlornness, hazed in the maze,
Close to the dicey edge,
Viewing the hodge-podge of despicable mess,
Gleamy eyes ablaze losing everything at showdown,
The fag-end;
Unafraid, unfazed takes chance,
Life is not a choice, rooted in chance granted once,
Doesn't rue the day till endgame.
Even if hurdles of life are pulling me down I am always fighting against them. We all know life will continue to move with or without me but I won't let it happen 'without me'. I am not immortal but I will live the time I was allotted at the time of birth with positivity, fun, warmth, and vitality.
One day the sun will shine on me giving an optimistic feeling and confidence to draw a bright picture of my life.
I've climbed the highest mountains
I've swum the deepest rivers
You can try them all and find
You are on top of the world
Looking down on creation
Can tell the big difference
Which the world doesn't
See or admire in you.
Being exclusive some days are spent in soul-searching, introspection, reflection. Sometimes it feels too good to be true to feel so good enjoying but I say believe it after whatever I have gone through in the past with my mother, whatever I have suffered physically I deserve the joy and can assume that my dreams and aspirations will be made true by my guardian angel.
All my life I have been clinging onto my mother. Hopes, dreams, love are essential for survival. Sometimes you have to let go of the past and move on. I believe while recovering better not look back and keep progressing towards the light.
" Doing unto others what you have them do unto you" is the love of helping your fellow man. This way you are creating a cycle of love that is gifted back to you. If you learn to give love, you will receive more in return. I believe that is the law of the Universe.
Despite the uncertain conditions, if you have the skills and potentials, be brave, believe in yourself, master the negative emotions, and forge ahead. That's how I became a warrior princess.
With problems of body parts like the liver, kidney, thyroid, brain, I have always been hopeful that things will be better as God has always reassured me that he will send support in my crisis time.
Better not get stuck believing the way life is now is how it is always going to be. Making positive changes for life experiences for yourself and others will make your life worth it. Death means the loosening of the mortal coil from this life's experience but, may life remember you for long.
I want the removal of my physical pains which doesn't let me eat or sleep or talk. My body's physical health is deteriorating. The energy centers of the body need to be activated by the right person to heal correctly.
Mind and spirit is a sacred temple and when something goes off-kilter in the physical body it gives signal a need for a second opinion in medical decisions.
The unbearable vague pain lingered long without any remission and now I have an excruciatingly sharp tongue pain in the left side and it feels sore but there is no sensitive area there, same with the gums in the left side and my mouth is on fire. As pain wells up my attempt to end it intensifies. The positive energy will certainly mend my nerves.
As I am going through an exceptionally difficult time in my life, learning the coping skills will make me grow and move forward. A healthy body comes from a healthy mind...positive thoughts can keep healing and strengthening my body.
I met a few devils in my life and the important nature of a devil to keep coming back in different forms and comes to put you into a bad situation that you just overcame or to take advantage of you, all done illegally. It is no use to keep seeking answers to " why are they on the planet?"
There are 24 other habitable planets discovered, my appeal is to be transported to one of them. Perhaps there the inhabitants are not so selfish looking for their good but thinking about others, the reason why man is called a "social animal".
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