Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Weltanschauung

 







To the Creator, we all pray with devotion

Knowing  I'm a different evolution

Appreciate life

Even if there is strife

Understand its value 

The precious moments never tastes bad too


I don't want a pathetic smile.

Lantern like, all I want is to be a torch.

Living with a smile

Because you never know

If today will last till tomorrow

When life loses its wings it never comes plummeting back to earth

Drink up every drop before it is lost, with all mirth

 A life not worth living with  weep and wail

Where God prevail


Instead of being grumpy and crying think awhile

I don't forget the version of a golden timeless rule

Adapt or perish

If not, die soon,

but Life you cherish

Experienced horrors that would give most people nightmares for life

If you face serious issues from a younger age you don't cringe inside or give up on life

The older you get without ever having a real problem you don't know how to handle it.

Under the shelter where you sit

While the Rare is lit

Having rare wit

Never submit never quit


 Starting early gives you a perspective if you don't die first.

Living every moment there becomes a thirst

Not sufferin' like a fool.

The ready courage is nature's rule

 Yet I'm 'Me'..a li'l different in molecularity 

A big difference in reality 


Life is a constant journey, 

It's not a captive's journey

But it is a journey nobody deciphers  

Or understands 

Thinking it to be nonsense

Any can trudge the uncharted land 

But nobody deciphering and recognizing the truth

I loved my life more than you can ever know

Even my passion romanticised death

I came to the World crying

But life is continuous since the cradle

Faced Incongruities, horror, 

Absurdities, and terror

 My laughter and voluble nature

 Can win over- 

Power, lust

Coercion 

Unjust supplication

Till the point of no return

But I'll embrace death with mad gaiety

But where shall I go?

Despite the ancient and worldwide

 Cultural traditions that cultural beliefs

They mystify and bring relief

Asserting an afterlife, immortality 

It feels like a formation of beliefs,

 wishful thinking,

If it was really true no matter what

And I can trust my gut

The door is slammed shut

I could satisfy my deep interests and ambitions

Only if I had proof of the authenticity of the traditions

But if it's an endless dreamless sleep

A shadow so deep;

My passion would remain a forlorn hope

Fulfilment of my wishes has no scope

This perspective has given me

 A little extra motivation to stay alive!

Thrive and survive

In our vulnerability, 

Looking Death in the eye 

Don't make me breathe a sigh

Being grateful for everyday 

The brief but magnificent opportunity

Life grants

Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of this astonishing universe

Not a dream or spiritual fantasy



Good deeds are done with  intention

Not for attention

Not for reputation

If you help people 

Good deeds are always weighed against evil

It is like a game of a boomerang and comes back as retrieval

A perpetual bitterness about the world's unawareness 

Of their worth as God's creation

Fear inspired determination

Makes people to forge ahead

Fear can make us slay our kin

The obsession grows into madness

There's no loyalty 

Urge to win the race against time and death

These lives are never lived

They died before their birth


Some Flowers have never bloomed

Wilted before blooming 

Troubled and tired few lives are drained

Nobody understood, realised or appreciated.




But life teaches us we should live a large life not one lengthy

Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for

You follow, find yourself life is a war

Fought dedicated from the core.





Sunday, February 13, 2022

The Rare love and kindness







 Giving a skeptical stare ' Oh! He only earns for you' with rounded eyes.


You never forget such things and her face stuck to my memory like flypaper. Later, after three years of matrimony, the bashing during my initial stage of neuroendocrine cancer and sufferance of the misery of Covid, pain, and diarrhea, and the agony of the fact that he left us because of being afraid of Covid. 


It is fair to say that the day 14 th Feb is full of possibilities for romantic disaster.


Even black magic wherein there is brainwashing and fear of death and old age.


In terms of the unexpected, asking someone to marry you without notice is definitely a massive surprise.

 But it becomes a worse act or instance of escaping, avoiding, or shirking one's duty.

Surprisingly surprises have become a part of my little life. 


It dates back to the medieval era hinting at the sly bringing gloom which is about to come.

The Flipside of the initial sweet gesture and celebration. You have to make a decision which is most important in your life.


Shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.


Numerous later additions to the legend have better related it to the theme of love: an 18th-century embellishment to the legend claims he wrote the jailer's daughter a letter signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell before his execution. an expression that is still in use today.

Saint Valentine, who according to some sources is actually two distinct historical characters who were said to have healed a child while imprisoned and executed by decapitation. 


In Norfolk, a character called 'Jack' Valentine knocks on the rear door of houses leaving sweets and presents for children. Although he was leaving treats, many children were scared of this mystical person. 

it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection.

The beginning of the birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine’s Day should be a day for romance. But choosing a mate is not necessary healing a soul is as the sky, showers all with love.


Rethinking we have stretched it to a Valentine's Week



Rare Disease Day is an observance held on the last day of February to raise awareness for rare diseases and improve access to treatment and medical representation for individuals with rare diseases and their families. The European Organisation for Rare Diseases was established the day in 2008 to raise awareness for unknown or overlooked illnesses.


Do you feel a rare genetic cancer patient needs love, support laughter, care of aching with isolation, loneliness, and solitude we have one life I talk a lot because do all the honest talking and blessings to all before the day of silence.




Thursday, February 10, 2022

Force of life is greater than death


 It's glaringly obvious that the force of life is greater than death. But didn't life hit me violently worse than death?

 When I started writing,  I intended not just encouragement to oppose our current impressions, hoping to briefly pluck them out of persistent grip on the authority of the power of death. Pleasing all is impossible. Neither is everybody sweet and pleasing.


Disunity without sharing the burden is the basic cause of all problems. Ailing sister is brainwashed, beaten and left alone along with old mother for luxury, fame attaining celebrity status of an elephant spouse.

Life is strange, one dies, a shortage of victuals, another comes into project earth with the Darwinian evolutionary mutation but a failed experiment to further the species which cannot be stopped, okay if you think so stop the lethal virus from mutating and becoming deadly, deadlier, and more so.

 It's very uncomfortable that nobody can get their basic needs and mind gets exhausted wearing out another unavoidable condition is some have more privileges than needed. 

Everyone has to share the burden of everyone else, but nobody paid any attention that it's essential that's how we preserve life. 


That's I think is true, said the Warrior. also the word for the life force energy, the divinity that we all have inside of us. If you change the present you can see how the past and future change. But no question how she hollered nobody paid attention. My purpose is the preservation of free medical care, said the decision-makers.


But though I can't follow it, the sincere and strange devotion of splenetic doctors saying " you are not going to tell me about your cancer and no data"; wondering how perfectly he did my kidney cancer laughing and cheering. Actually, vulgarity and cruelty is unbridled fun. Similarly, did the decision-makers put me on the edge?

It is generally acknowledged by the Government that free treatment is out of the question. Unless the patient proves its social value and gets a head to toe checkup by a government hospital and the devastating pandemic follow the patient at home. Developing into a fire. Putting a trivial, trifling life who appealed to the sacred temple of justice in jeopardy is alas a humour but unfortunately, it doesn't piss off half of the representations or crowd.


I say if the government doesn't realise its public responsibility, social responsibilities it does not develop a spirit, it's done for no mistake about that. con man, and crook.


Until someone comes up and says the government has swallowed many countrymen. Therefore there's still a chance of being and saving the penniless rare people. The only, " just vocation" of the government is public service.


 But only those who are mentally tormented, harsh, paranoid, irritable, cowardly, and brutal liars. God forbid! I'd never want to see the couples who stirred up a rabid political brawl to draw an arbitrary line and divide the whole family into India and Pakistan. Then the question arises then why in the world would I entrust my country’s future, ie my fragile body.

A downpouring of immense darkness began . . . 

To pin down meaning to life is a piece of cake compared to actually being alive, not just breathing. I was born with an intense sense of being alive. Life should be big, not long. Hence living every moment making it a meteor blazing a trail.


 To begin with, I always felt fringed by my narcissist relatives who had less than average intelligence. I had a stifling awareness of the silly-willy fringe stuff.


I experienced horrors that would give most people nightmares for life but the thing is if you face serious issues from a younger age you don't cringe inside or give up on life. The older you get without ever having a real problem you don't know how to handle it. The humour of life is I have been battling a series of tumours throughout my life.


There was scarcely anything left of body or mind by which one could say, the hills threatened to defeat me.

After my father perished, who were a good sport and a fellow human being…. The God of death visited him one day in seclusion, he asked" Is there an afterlife? ". Yama the God of death said Oh! My Child living ends."Despite the ancient and worldwide


 Cultural traditions that cultural beliefs


They mystify and bring relief



Asserting an afterlife, immortality 


In ancient Mesopotamia, Egyptians, Hebrew, Greek, Romans, Old testament, The Gita, Chinese, Tantric, Anglo-Saxon



It feels like a formation of beliefs, wishful thinking,


If it was really true no matter what


And I can trust my gut


The door is slammed shut



I could satisfy my deep interests and ambitions


Only if I had proof of the authenticity of the traditions



But if it's an endless dreamless sleep


A shadow so deep;


My passion would remain a forlorn hope


Fulfilment of my wishes has no scope



This perspective has given me


 A little extra motivation to stay alive!


Thrive and survive



In our vulnerability, 


Looking Death in the eye 


Don't make me breathe a sigh


Being grateful for everyday 


The brief but magnificent opportunity


Life grants


Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of this astonishing universe


Not a dream or spiritual fantasy


And that is all life is our human trip is just a circle between birth and death that’s why above all else We need to celebrate the now because it’s precious.


Hypochondriac and one sadist, were naturally a part of life, "Why don't you kill yourself, Didi, you bitch, you die right now?"


Made no earthly sense, hypocrisy, lying, mendacity, treachery, trickery, untruth, artifice, beguilement, blarney, cheat, circumvention, cozenage, craftiness, cunning built at enormous expense.

But he promised, in speaking relatively despotic. 

If a body exerts a force on a second body, the second body exerts a force that is equal in magnitude and opposite in direction to the first force. So for every action force there is always a reaction force.

Warrior laughed beyond her fears And they laughed beyond their grief And they laughed beyond their pain.

 They laughed themselves right into peace We are pieces in a puzzle but we’ve never seen the box We’re addicted to the struggle, it’s a fucking paradox But I put that in my joke So the irony was obvious A deathbed roast.


I keep my heart open, but I rarely give it away. People don’t know what to do With other people’s hearts these days. They use them and abuse them in the most codependent ways. That’s why for many years, I locked my heart inside my rib cage. But that hurt me more than all the pain that I was being saved but I am always lonely.


 Those who don't use your heart.You might as well go dig your grave .It never fully heals, it just covers up the holes within And it will stay that way until you choose to go within Or meet someone else, who triggers you into your suffering. A physical agony is a tool that helps reveal. The pain couldn’t feel but  it can never  truly heal.


Alone is endless 

Blackhole of nothingness


The stillness of the universe




It had hurt before


I've been through this before


I ain't gonna hear it said no more


Bear no more

So hard and cold


So uncut and so silent


But can't change the climate


Lightening passed through me


I am a cracked pearl 


Shaped like a girl

Needles of pain


Extreme pain 


Becomes pinnacle of pleasure


Life passed in a dream sequence




Money success fear joy pain sorrow


Endless blues


Dreaming endless thoughtless dreams


Alone alone alone terribly alone


Unrelenting brilliance of his emotions


Paying a considerable price in pain


Unless there's some fire and confidence


Fade into infinity


Litter of chaotic words he poured out the story of this life


Life in the stupidverse says


Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.

I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.

Then the almost unnameable lust returns.


I never wanted to die.

 Even when those I loved

died , went away from me, beyond me. 

My life was never always a question, if for no other reason

Than I wanted to wake up and see what happened next. 


Even then I have nothing against life.

I know well the grass blades you mention,

the furniture you have placed under the sun.



But suicides have a special language.

Like carpenters they want to know which tools.

They never ask why?

Just an instigation and the most lethal cancer

Hold the answer

 I have so simply declared myself,

I have been beaten by  the enemy, eaten the enemy,

Have taken on his craft, his magic.

Who asked me to drop dead.


In this way, heavy and thoughtful,

warmer than oil or water,

I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.


And I continued to want to open like that, like the flowers

who lift their heavy heads as the hills outside the window

flare gold for a moment before they turn

on their sides and bare their creased backs.


Even the cut flowers in a jar of water lift

their soon to be dead heads and open

their eyes, even they want a few more sips,

to dwell here, in paradise, a few days longer.



I did not think of my body at needle point pain

Even the leftover will is  gone.

Suicides have already betrayed the body.


Still-born, they don't always die,

But dazzled,  can't forget a drug so sweet

A face would look on and smile.

I am thirsty for compassion.

I can't bear this pain no more, the agony kill


To thrust all that life under your burning third eye representing fire. 

His left and right eyes indicate his activity in the physical world. ... In his anger he opened his third eye, and fire from the eye devoured Kama,

  Kali mata save me by stopping the cycle of life and death

I plead Him to open the eye!

Burn me to bhasma

That, all by itself, has become a passion.

Death's a sad Bone; bruised, you'd say,


Waiting for you, year after year,

To  so delicately undo all wounds 

To empty my breath from its bad prison called the Earth


Balanced there, suicides sometimes meet,

Raging at the bull , a pumped-up moon,

Itleaving the bread they mistook for a kiss,


Leaving the page of the book carelessly open,

something unsaid, the phone off the hook

and the love, and aspirations

Whatever it was, an infection.

Stifling to Death

Stopping all pain and breath.

I hate the Earth 

My forte

Unvanquishable infusion of life

With a deep sense of humanity

Who think of humility

I'd rather live in Hell fire 

Pandemic's quick fire shall burn

violence on each other out fear

 In frustration and pain I can no longer bear

With no harmony in my brain 

I shun paradise

I shun rain

As I suffered the pandemic I thought who is my brother defending? We grew up together`reading Carl Sagan and Michael Chrichton. We loved sci-fi and got the Ring trilogy and the Maltese Falcon from him when Father visited him at FTII.


Does working in Bollywood teach foul language?

In a world lost in Darkness sometimes kind words can be a light. Kindness offers a healing touch. In a world dirty where own offspring shirk duty, world of anger there can be joy, peace and love if Mum just holds my hand there ought to be equality and human dignity for all


“I chose to trudge the hills less trodden by; 

With head held high; 

Being cognizant; 

The turf is uncertain; 

So is the terrain;

Still hanging on

 When I want to sigh;

 I get up with head held high;

 Choosing a path never trodden by,

 “To leave a trail and make a difference…”


My legs burned on the brink of collapse, a sensation that has become disappointingly familiar.


The corrupt world people understand only their own troubles and see their own perspectives. Soft-brained, weak-minded, chicken-hearted people get the best attention whereas a warrior is like an elephant in the room like something everyone is aware of, but which is being ignored because everybody finds discussion about it uncomfortable.



Everywhere there's some chaos and uproar but everyone is leading a filthy life never cleaning up the dust settling in layers.  With a few dead trees surrounding their lives, every single person seems to be the mirror image of the other, living in a mixture of the garbage but calling themselves aficionados of life. I ask you, My Lord, what do they perceive life is? I think for life and lust are synonymous. Everyone has a similar hobby, that of collecting money.



What do I need? Money? To fight through the hazards of life you need money. When malady strikes, your life becomes a tale of courage in the face of endless circumstances and the distressing horror, banknotes resuscitate you. Therefore money can buy life for me.



Money under most circumstances can't buy peace and happiness for you. Your Creator will provide just as much as you need for your own personal sustenance because that is what you deserve, asking for  more is being greedy and is a punishable offence. We find everyone running after fame, prosperity, wealth and power which results in daily indigestion and therefore they have built gyms in their premises to work out, not just to build eight-packs by shedding out the extra fat but to get rid of menacing indigestion and get a peaceful night's sleep which seems to elude them always.




But people are different these days before doing their duty they are concerned and whining about the effort they have to put in, they desire to bask in the glory of their deeds which makes them choosy... which duty to do… which will fetch them the attention of the world and they take substantial pride in doing something which gives birth to dignity and significance. Sometimes doing hard work which wouldn't fetch money and fame leads to inaction.




While trying to get kind attention of the administration, you will be surprised at what you had learnt at school as the definition of a Republic...of the people, by the people, for the people. It ought to be interpreted as far off the people, buy the people. Far off the people is a building where there is a roomful of people wearing elegant clothing with different beliefs.  They have one belief though, to buy the people by doing deeds which would fetch more votes. 



As for the people, there is a genuine gentlemanly problem...you'd find them supervising fundraising activity with hands placed on hips when a house got partially burnt due to the faults of the residents who were careless while burning prohibited crackers or helping people with fashionable diseases in the modern world and supporting those on a mass scale to get media attention. I am afraid the differentiation between diseases, comparison of lives will stop when pigs fly.



The creation of Man is supposed to be God's best job, greater than the animals with morals and principals but they have turned out to be leaders in their dominions and its authority which is supreme and impregnable. They practice killing weaker animals and are selfish by nature. They are the most miserable creatures who only care about themselves. 



O' God! I might have been born in the wrong realm! What is life after all?

How do you define it?

Material comfort? Convinces?

Relationships?

Friendships?

Life is something bigger than ourselves, something for the larger good. Serving others enriches our lives.

These days there are less examples of living for ourselves.

Hardly anyone genuinely care for eachother. I spit on my relatives who turned their tail and left during my first crisis liver transplant and now when I have metastatic neuroendocrine cancer, mute " friends and relatives and my brother with his spouse will go to hell for themselves living without sacrifice, care, love. The smallest acts like honesty to serve a purpose.

 There are folks who don't know me, not related but still decided to help me keep alive are messengers of our Maker. The smallest of gestures like help, kindness touched my life in such a meaningful way.


She sees what she’s become , stronger to save me .There is one for every year and every fear she’s overcome.

She would hopefully always deal with her issues of rage.

The wisdom you seek is inside you.  Take a moment and feel the truth of those words.  One of the most important aspects of is that within every one of us is the light, the divinity,  or as my without reading of having real degrees just by reading and understanding without committing to memory I can explain so many subjects . Each one of  us has our own truth inside ourselves. The quest of the  shaman is to find, live, and express it.